


Are You There, God? It's Me, Ben Braeden

by CasiplesCastle



Series: Knock, Knock... [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Amara is rooting for Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Whump, Dean gets the happiness he rightly deserves, Dean has a son, F/M, God's Gift to Dean, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 00:05:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10842288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasiplesCastle/pseuds/CasiplesCastle
Summary: Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.





	1. Found You

**Author's Note:**

> I love the Braedens and I love Jason Mann and Jensen Ackles’ Simple Man rendition. This is a plot baby from that song along with my other songs on my SPN playlist. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

If Dean wasn’t a hundred percent certain that, at this point, nothing short of God’s divine hand can smite him off the face of the planet, his goddamn heart speeding and abruptly stopping like it just did would do him in for real.

A boy—no, a _young man_ now—stood before him, his mom, and Sam, forehead creased, chest heaving raggedly, and highly likely to be violently angry. He stood in all his five-foot-eleven glory, fists clenched, plaid shirt rolled up his arms, and a shiner looking no older than a day old gave him the impression that he was just about a hair’s width away from strangling Dean with his bare hands.

Dean wouldn’t blame him. He erased the kid’s memories after all. Apparently, its back and Dean was going to kill Cas.

“Why don’t we all sit down and talk?” Mary softly suggested, trying desperately to break the tension rising in the room. Dean doesn’t blame her for trying, either. Seeing her battle-hardened sons freezing at the sight of a gangly eighteen-year-old must be very baffling. Dean took in the young man again. Nope, that kid wasn’t moving a fucking inch any time soon.

Sam was the first to move. He turned to Dean as if looking for permission to follow their mother’s advice and Dean gave him a look. A desperate, panicky, poker face look. It must have been pretty compelling because it got his mom and Sammy moving, turning around to busy themselves with “sitting down and talk,” whatever the hell that means. Dean doesn’t really care. He awkwardly shuffled his feet, couldn’t look the kid in the eye and just gestured for him to follow his family into the kitchenette attached to the unknown random motel they stayed in.

Mary busied herself making coffee and Sam was pulling stuff from the small grocery bag they picked up yesterday. He brought out some granola bars and a couple of crackers, placing them neatly on the table for show. Dean nearly rolled his eyes but instead he gestured for the kid to take a seat. The kid hesitated and, for a moment, Dean thought the kid would tell him to go back to whatever hellhole he climbed from but the kid complied, looking anywhere but at him.

“How do you take your coffee…” Mary offered, extending an olive branch to this God-awkward situation. Sam handed the kid an ice pack for the shiner. He took it without an iota of thanks.

“It’s Ben.” he supplied, hissing when the ice pack made contact with the bruise. “My name’s Ben Braeden. And I take it black.”

“Okay, Ben.” Mary said, smiling while pouring him a cup. “Here you go. Why don’t you tell me how we can help you?” Sam sat beside the kid while his mom took the seat across Sam which left Dean with the seat across Ben. He cautiously sat down, careful not to aggravate the kid more than he already looks. He looked like he’d had a rough few days, his expression worn and edgy.

Ben didn’t seem interested in answering the question because he just shook his head with a small frown on his face, like his thoughts were racing a mile per minute. He blinked a few times and shrugged. He threw the ice pack on the table and huffed quietly.

“I… I don’t know what happened.” Ben said, chocolate brown eyes looking a little confuse. “When I came back to my dorm, I saw this picture. I touched it then a bright light appeared and next thing I know, I come to with these memories. Like déjà vu, you know? Something just felt familiar or off about one thing or another. For years, it’s always been like that. Like something was missing. Then that light happened and a memory would just pop out of nowhere inside my head like some sort of jack-in-a-box. I… I remembered the changelings first. I met Sam and Dean when I was nine. Dean was at my birthday party. He ate some of my race car cake and I helped him save a couple of other kids. I practically threw a seizure when I remembered that.”

Mary nodded while Sam and Dean stayed absolutely still. Ben was glaring at Dean accusingly even if his words were softly spoken as if he cherished the memory. Dean looked down at the table, unable to meet Ben’s questioning eyes. Mary stopped herself from frowning at the three men sitting around the table, taking the interrogation of the mystery boy into her own hands. “So, you met Sam and Dean in a hunt?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, scratching his cheek as if in thought. Mary was strangely reminded of Dean’s thinking face. “They saved me and my mom from changelings. My mom and Dean go way back though.”

Again, he looked at Dean accusingly.

“Does she remember, too?” Dean asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know.” Ben answered, shrugging. “I was at college at the time. I just picked up a laptop, followed the trail of utter devastation and everything remotely supernatural, and drove there to find you. I started asking questions and got this shiner for the trouble. Then, I hacked into a couple of traffic cams and just tracked the Impala into some crappy motel in a strange, creepy town. Figured you’d be in a middle of some crap and I was right.”

“That’s smart.” Sam commented. Ben tried to refrain from grinning and instead shrugged casually. He picked up the ice pack again and gently pressed it against his face.

“Well, I didn’t get a full ride at MIT for nothing.” Ben murmured, managing to sound smug even under his breath.

Dean snorted softly in astonishment. Mary was openly impressed.

“That’s amazing. What are you taking?” Mary asked.

“Mechanical Engineering.” Ben answered, a little flustered. “Engines and machines are sort of my thing. I’m good with cars mostly.”

“Whoa, wait a minute.” Dean cut off whatever his mom was going to say, realizing something. “You mean you just dropped out of school to find us?”

“What?” Ben snapped in surprise. “No, of course not. I finished the semester and took a hiatus for a few weeks from school to find you.”

“Why?” Dean demanded suspiciously. He can tell Ben wanted to roll his eyes but the kid just threw the ice pack again and gave Dean his most serious glare.

“I need you to teach me.”

“Teach you what?”

“How to bake apple pies,” Ben huffed irritably, sass full throttle. “What do you think, Dean?”

Dean looked at him in disbelief. “No.”

Ben looked indignant. “What? Why not?”

“Because I said so! Now, go home!” Dean commanded, tone ringing with authority. Once upon a time, that tone would’ve made Ben piss himself but now, six years or so later, he took that as a challenge.

“Not until you tell me why I can’t.” The kid had the audacity to look petulant about it.

“Does your mother even know where you are right now?” Dean demanded.

“She thinks I’m taking a cross-country trip. It’s not exactly a lie.” Ben shrugged. “And I’m almost nineteen. I can take care of myself.”

Dean scoffed scathingly. “You drove here to find us knowing what we do. That tells me you definitely can’t take care of yourself.”

“Look, I don’t care what you think.” Ben said, getting worked up, glaring evermore angrily at Dean. “All I know is that I need training. That’s what I came here for.”

Dean’s chair screeched as he stood, towering over the kid. “Well, sorry, kid. It’s a no for me. There’s the door in case you get lost. Go home.”

“I’m getting training, Dean. Whether it’ll be you or some other hunter, I’ll get it. So, you can choose between doing this the easy way and teach me or you can do this the hard way and say no and watch me put myself in more danger because you won’t help me. Your choice.” Ben threatened, crossing his arms and crazy ass determined. Dean mentally cursed from heaven to hell.

“Where the hell is Cas?!” Dean growled furiously, turning his back and walking over to the sink, slamming his palms down with a loud bang.

“Why? You want to wipe my memories again?” Ben’s mouth was going to get him killed, Dean just knew it. Mary and Sam stayed out of the range of fire, looking between Ben and Dean like they were nuclear bombs about to explode. Sam swallowed and decided to step in before one of them goes off.

“Ben, you’ve got a full ride to MIT. You’re going to drop all that for hunting?” Sam asked skeptically.

“What?” Ben exclaimed in shock, looking at Sam like he’d grown another head. “Of course not! I worked my ass off to get that scholarship! I’m still going to go back to school. I told you. I’m just taking a few weeks off school. Plus, my girlfriend and my best friend will skin me alive if I don’t go back. They’ll drag my dead carcass back if they have to. I just need to know how to protect myself and the people around me. Just because I choose to have a life doesn’t mean I’ll turn my back on the people who’ll need help.” Ben shrugged again. It was a terrible habit. “You know, just do easy hunts like a classic haunting, the occasional changelings, or even some of the weird stuff, too, like witches and wendigos. Saving people, hunting things, isn’t that what you do?”

Mary was strangely quiet, looking at Ben with a contemplative look on her face. Sam knew that look. She was trying to piece the puzzle together. Knowing their mother, her guess won’t be too far from the truth. She was that damn good. Sam gulped.

Dean slammed his palms on the sink again, having enough, and turned back to Ben. He manhandled the kid by the arm and started dragging him to the door.

“I’m taking your ass home.” Dean snarled low under his breath.

“Fine, be that way! But it still won’t change my mind.” Ben argued back. Dean ripped out his coat from the bed where he’d thrown it and Sam and Mary scrambled to go after him. When Ben exited the room, Dean pushed him toward the direction of the Impala and shoved him in the backseat.

“Hey! I’ve got a ride!” Ben crawled his way out the other door.

Dean grabbed him before he could bolt. “Leave it!”

Ben flailed around for Dean to let go but the grip was tight. “WHAT?! No freaking way, dude!”

“You aren’t gonna need some broken down piece of—”

Ben huffed indignantly. “I’m not leaving my girl!”

“Your what?”

“My car! And she’s not some broken down piece of—”

Mary cut in, pointing to the car at the end of the lot. “Let me guess. That one’s yours?”

She was pointing at a red hot, stripped 1969 Chevrolet Camaro with sweet rims and a glossy paint job. The kid lit up like a tree and took Dean’s shock to his advantage and twisted out of his hand. The man didn’t even protest when the kid started to strut towards the car, running a hand on the hood reverently.

“You built this?” Sam breathed, sounding mightily impressed. Ben beamed smugly, nodding, and Sam gasped silently at how eerie it looked on the kid’s face. His big brother will definitely have his work cut out for him.

“Isn’t she a beauty?” Ben told them proudly, looking for any nonexistent dust. “I found her at a junk yard a town over from where we live a few years ago and the poor baby had been treated so badly. Some whacko crashed her into a tree! The freaking moron sold her because he said she was a useless lump of crap so I took her home and worked on her for months. I got her to run eventually and then the other additions just came after a few rounds playing pool and poker tables. This baby can race in the streets faster than all the crap they come up with in Fast and Furious.”

Mary wanted to laugh so badly but she doesn’t think any of the boys will appreciate it. There’s no doubt about who that kid truly is and she will willingly step aside and enjoy the ride, watching the show that will probably tear her boys through the last shred of their sanity and maybe their hair. But also, she sensed there was more to this than what her boys had told her.

Dean shook his head to clear it and cleared his throat loudly. They turned to him. “Sam, take his ride. You,” he pointed at Ben. “You ride with my mom and I.”

“Oh, no,” Mary said, raising her hands. “I love the Impala but I’m not passing up the chance to drive a car as impressive as that. If you’ll let me.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at her, assessing, contemplating the risks. He nodded a few moments later. “Okay, but take really good care of her, please.” He all but pleaded.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure Sam and I trade places before we’re even tired. It’s a long drive after all.” Mary assured him. Ben sighed in relief and with a little hesitance but nodded in acquiesce anyway. He threw the keys in Mary’s direction and she caught it without much issue, grinning.

“Get in, kid.” Dean barked at Ben. The kid didn’t bother hiding how he rolled his eyes and sighed, pushing past Dean to do as he’s told.

Ben strapped himself in and he gave Dean a determined look when the older man started the ignition. “You know this isn’t over, right?”

“Keep telling yourself that, Ben.” Dean rumbled and blasted Led Zeppelin so loud, he can’t even hear himself panicking over seeing Lisa again.


	2. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you'll notice something familiar about this chapter, let's say I had half a mind to make this a crossover with Teen Wolf but didn't and I got too lazy to change the plot. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

They crossed the state line when Dean and Ben spoke again.

"So, you got a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, her name's Rosie. She's scary smart." Ben chimed.

"Yeah?"

"Totally. She's got a full ride to MIT, too. She has a double major in Chemical Engineering and Physics. She's a genius."

"Sounds like an amazing girl."

"Yeah, she is. A little bossy but she's got a loving heart once you get to know her. She's kind and resourceful and totally hot. Plus, she knows about the supernatural world."

"She knows?"

"Yeah," Ben said, frowning as he reached out and started touching the dials on the Impala's radio and Dean absent-mindedly slapped his hand away. "She's a psychic and her best friend's family are hunters. Her best friend's boyfriend, who's my best friend, by the way, was possessed by a demon a couple of months ago. We managed to exorcise it out of him though."

Dean gave the kid a long look. "Sounds like he had a rough time."

"Yeah, he did." Ben said, eyes growing distant. "Victoria, Rosie's best friend and huntress extraordinaire, had to fight tooth and nail to convince her dad he's worth saving." He suddenly snapped out of his daze and lit up like he just had an idea. "Speaking of, I should probably just ask Mr. Campbell to train me if you're still dead set on not training me, which blows by the way. I don't see the harm in learning how to protect myself."

Dean ignored that and instead focused on something else that Ben said. "Campbell? As in the family of hunters for generations Campbell? Powerful family of supernatural hunters Campbells?"

Ben tilted his head in curiosity. "Yeah, you know about them?"

"Intimately," Dean huffed. "Mom's maiden name was Campbell. I thought they were all killed."

"Oh, they just got back from Europe because they said and I quote, 'America is the battleground of every powerful supernatural to ever exist. And all the other continents are boring.' You're definitely related to them. You should meet them. They're sort of bad ass."

Dean snorted. "They'd think twice about training you when I'm done talking to them."

Ben frowned. "Okay, I'm not introducing you to them before I ask Mr. Campbell."

Dean chuckled. He will hunt this Campbell down and shove a shotgun down his throat if he even so much as considered training Ben. "So, Rosie what? Saw you got connections to the supernatural and immediately invited you into her little supernatural club?"

"Actually, she took one look at me and ran the other way as fast as she could, as far as she could."

Dean laughed. "Why?"

"She said I've been touched by an angel and they are bad mojo."

"Well, she's not wrong."

"But isn't your best friend an angel? Cas was the one who wiped my memories, I remember him. And they're _angels_."

"Yeah, well, they aren't all harps and haloes. And Cas isn't exactly fluffy wings and all that either. He's more of a—"

"Holy tax accountant?"

"Exactly!"

Ben laughed. They talked for hours after that, catching up with their own lives and laughing. Story after story about childhood mishaps and teenage silliness flowed from them so naturally Dean felt that the years missed between him and the kid didn't even exist. For the first time in a long, long time, Dean felt oddly light and at peace.


	3. Curious Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one is really short. Mary is knows who Ben is but there's just this really thin ice around the Winchesters and she doesn't want to push the boys into telling her but she also really wants to know. Anyway, enjoy! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

"How are you two doing over there? You aren't both trying to kill each other yet, are you?"

Sam chuckled quietly. They can both see how much of a good time those two were actually having.

" _We're doing good, mom. Say, why don't we go grab some bite to eat and call it a day, huh? We've been driving all day._ "

"Sure, Dean. On your next exit, then."

Before Mary hung up, she can faintly hear Ben say, " _Somewhere with some pie, Dean._ "

The silence that followed after seemed heavy and Sam knew that whatever his mom has been stewing over for the last couple of hours is going to have to be dealt with soon.

"You and your brother are going to have to tell me the story about this one some time, Sam. Best before we arrive at Ben's home." Mary sighed, finally breaking her silence. She can guess but there's only so far guesses can go and Mary Catherine Campbell-Winchester refused to charge into anything with limited intel.

Sam's face fell, sadness tinging his voice as he said, "I think Dean's going to have to be the one to tell you about this, mom. Last time I tried to say anything about it, he threatened to break my nose."

"Oh, Dean." Mary sighed as he watched Dean and Ben laugh from afar.


	4. Olive Branches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I ship Dean and Lisa so much! I wish they would bring them back. Just for a short while. Like the Braedens run into another Supernatural trouble or something because they're as much dragged into the hunting life as Dean is and I don't know. Just something! Even if they won't remember Dean which is going to hurt. Honestly, anything! I'll take anything. Even just a mention of them. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

"How's your mom been?"

They were in a motel getting ready for bed. Sam and Mary shared a room while Dean and Ben bunked together. Mary has most likely figured it out and insisted that Dean should stay with the kid at all times.

"She's okay." Ben said between tidying his clothes before going to bed. He can pretend to be nonchalant all he wanted but Dean can see the stiffness of his shoulders from where he's sitting. Suddenly, he can see the kid who drove across the country and found their motel looking like he's got bones to pick with Den all over again.

"Yeah?" Dean asked but it was a loaded question. Ben turned and looked at him, evaluating, gauging his sincerity. Ben's eyes swirled with emotion, each of them flashing momentarily on the surface. Dean saw his anger, pain, confusion, and mistrust until the kid locked them all away. He didn't blame the kid. He deserved it after all. But Ben must've seen how much he wanted to hear about Lisa because he sighed and crossed his arms, giving Dean the olive branch he's desperately been grasping for.

"Sometimes, I catch her having this vacant look on her face as if she's trying to remember something she forgot but she usually shrugs it off. But I can tell, even if she doesn't remember or understand it, that she misses you a lot." Ben said quietly, looking away.

Dean's mouth suddenly felt dry, pins and needles slowly crawling across his chest. "I'm sorry." Empty words but there was nothing else he could say.

Ben sighed, getting into bed. He paused for a moment before turning back to Dean. The mask he wore fell off leaving the worn and weary kid he was when he first showed up hours ago. Dean knew that whatever Ben's been through hadn't been easy. It was bad enough that it drove Ben to find him, to learn what he does. But Dean will never do that to Ben. He'll never ruin him like how this life ruined Dean. It was a curse bad enough to be shared with his little brother but not with Ben. Anyone else but Ben…

"I asked you to come home." Ben whispered to him, barely audible but there's no way Dean would've missed it. He sounded so young then, so much like the thirteen-year-old boy who called a third date an emergency and begged him to just come home. It made Dean suddenly cold.

"And you know why I didn't." Dean answered him, pleading for some understanding.

Ben's eyes flashed with hurt before he blinked it away, looking anywhere but him. Dean wanted to tell him that whatever he was thinking, it wasn't it. It was never them. It's not their fault. It was Dean. It was all Dean's fault. It was Dean's choice. Dean just didn't _choose_ them. But he couldn't tell him that. He knew no matter how hard he tries to explain, Ben wouldn't understand.

The kid shrugged, his voice wavering slightly when he spoke. "Sam was alive. The world needed someone to save it, I know. I get it. I mean, how do we compete against a calling like that? What's mom and I against the rest of the universe?"

Dean shook his head. "It's not that."

"No, it was. And it's okay, Dean. I get it." Ben said, finally looking at him with burning chocolate brown eyes, too wise for his age. "We needed you but something out there just needed you more. You did what you thought was best for your family even if the rest of us didn't agree with your decision. We just have to learn to live with that."

Dean swallowed, a grin forced on his lips but his voice came out shakier than he would've liked. "How'd you get so smart?"

Ben scoffed, quick to ride along, but his words sounded empty. "Dude, full ride to MIT."

Dean's grin morphed into a genuine smile. There was a moment when he just took the kid in, no longer looking at him as the boy he once knew but someone growing up to be a good man. Dean knew he can expect great things from Benjamin Isaac Braeden.

So, he told Ben sincerely, "I'm so proud of you, Ben."

Ben's chocolate brown eyes slowly lit up and Dean thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful as that spark in the kid's shining eyes. "Thanks, Dean."


	5. Mary's Little Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dean and Sam deserves to be happy! Hands down! But Dean needs a special brand of convincing, I think, to take that happiness. I don't know. He's the most jaded of them all. Anyway, enjoy, guys! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

"So, who is he?" Mary asked and it didn't surprise Dean that she didn't take long to ask. She found him drinking a cup of coffee on a bench at five a.m. in the morning by himself. He slept really well, feeling content and well-rested, but the moment he remembered who was on the other bed next to him, he felt a wave of panic settle in his gut and bolted, needing some fresh, damp air to breathe and to put his thoughts back in order.

His mother found him like that, pensive and melancholy. Dean smiled at her wanly. He sloshed whatever remained of his coffee around his cup, buying some time, while his mother waited patiently for him to speak.

"Remember when I told you about Sam falling into the pit and I didn't see him a year later with no soul?"

"Yeah, I remember." Mary doesn't think she can ever forget hearing about how both of her boys went to hell and suffered for years. She shivered and it wasn't from the cold.

"I stayed with him and his mom that year, living the apple pie life." Dean smiled another humorless smile. It looked more like a grimace to Mary, like he's trying to hold something in.

Mary digested this and her eyes widened. "You got out?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I got out."

"Then, why—"

"Crowley kidnapped them to get to me. She nearly died and Ben… he couldn't even look at me. So, I asked Cas to erase their memories of me ever being in their lives and I never looked back."

Mary sighed sadly and took her eldest boy's hand in her own. He's suffered through so much and her heart breaks for him. If she can take away all of his pain, the weariness in his eyes, and the weight of the world off his shoulders, she would. But she can't because he won't give them up. She doesn't think Dean would willingly share his burdens with anyone, least of all, the people he loved. He wouldn't wish the hell he's been through and the responsibility entrusted to him by God himself on his worst enemy, she knew.

"It's okay, mom." Dean reassured her when her eyes got misty, squeezing her hand back. "It was better that way. This life… it's poison. I didn't want that for them. I don't want it for _him_. He's… I don't want Ben to ever have to pick up a gun to shoot at ghosts or swing machetes to hack off heads, you know. He has his life ahead of him, I mean, he's got a full ride to MIT." Dean huffed proudly. "He's like Sammy before Jess died; hopeful and so full of something I can never be."

"Is he yours?"

Dean shook his head sadly. "No, but he might as well be."

"You love his mom?"

Dean smiled and nodded, looking away. "Yeah, with everything I've got. Whenever I picture myself happy, it's with her and Ben."

Mary squeezed his hand again but said nothing. They watch the sun rise together, the light illuminating her beautiful little angel, and Mary vowed to herself that her sons will get everything they rightly deserve, so God help her.


	6. Piece by Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one's longer and angsty and the longest I took to write. I don't know if you guys will agree with me but Mary coming back was more of Amara's gift to Dean and it's time God gave back a little to the Winchesters for all they've done. And he can start with the Righteous Man. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

When they arrived at Lisa's, they didn't expect she would have company.

She opened the door with a look of incredulity on her face, eyes shining with unadulterated wonder at seeing Dean Winchester standing on her porch. He smiled tentatively, losing the weariness around his eyes ever so slightly. She remembers him, he realized, as she took him in her small but strong arms and the walls around his heart melted almost instantly. He'd dreamed of this in his most vulnerable moments, a treasured part of his memories that give him comfort whenever he felt like he's about to snap in two. He'd think of her and Ben when he'd lived a life he knew can never be his, a point of pure happiness even if it was tinged with the loss of his brother. But it won't last, he knew. Hunting will always pull him back no matter how hard he tried to leave it all behind. So, he takes comfort in her now like he did then, her strength seeping into him, renewing him into the man she once believed him to be, drinking in what she's willing to give. She broke away slowly and just when he's about to say he missed her, she slapped him right across the face.

He expected that.

"I deserved that." He confessed. She looked angry now, like a hurricane brewing on the horizon. He raised his palms in surrender when he saw who was standing by the stairs. Amara's smile was beaming but refrained and God's was a little exhausted but genuine.

"What the hell?" Sam whispered just behind Dean when he saw who Lisa's company was.

"What are you doing here?" Dean demanded cautiously, moving to shield Lisa away.

"Relax, Dean," Amara told him with a placating gesture. "We came here to set things right." She stepped forward, slowly making her way toward him. She took his hand softly and smiled. "I told you that I wanted to do the same for you." She whispered.

"You brought my mom back." Dean pointed out.

"Yes, but this gift is from my brother." She let go of him and walked back to God's side.

"Why don't we come in and talk?" God suggested, silently asking Lisa for her hospitality. She smiled tentatively at him, beginning to usher the Winchesters inside. When she saw Ben, she beamed at her son, engulfing him in a warm embrace.

"Ben, baby, it's so good to see you."

"Mom," he half-heartedly hissed, embarrassed, but he leaned into her arms. "I did go on a cross-country trip, I didn't lie."

"I know." Lisa reassured. "You just went to find a family of hunters." They broke apart and smiled warmly at each other. Dean looked at them like they hung the stars, smiling to himself.

"How was school?"

"It was great, mom. Rosie says hi."

"You'll have to bring her around one day. It's been forever since I last saw her."

"I will, mom. Don't worry."

Dean felt a nudge on his ribs and he reluctantly looked away to see his mom cautiously side-glance the Darkness and God himself. Ben shut the front door and Lisa led the way back to the living room, Sam and Ben in tow. God and Amara followed after them and Dean and Mary trailed behind.

"Dean?" Mary hissed, eying him expectantly.

"Right," Dean said hesitantly awkward. Then, sighed. "Mom, this is God or as he likes to be called, Chuck Shurley. He created the universe and wrote some of the worst books called Supernatural ever. And this is Amara, God's sister and the Darkness that will eventually end the universe."

Sam shut his eyes and mentally counted to five while Mary glared at her eldest son. Dean shrugged. It was the truth anyway. He turned to God and Amara.

"I thought you two were going away for a while?"

"We are away," God answered, clasping his hands together. "We aren't all here. This is just a projection."

"Well, where are you?"

God shrugged casually. "On the largest solar system in the Andromeda Galaxy. I'm showing Amara around the nearby galaxies on this plain of existence."

"Really?" Ben perked up, looking at God with wide eyes filled with wonder. God nodded and Amara smiled at him. "Oh, man, I wish Rosie was here to meet you. She'll totally geek out and have loads of questions about the universe. She's taking physics."

Dean grinned at the kid and he shared a knowing look with Sam over the kid's head. Sam shrugged. Once upon a time, Sam was the same way with omniscient beings, too.

"Oh, I know." God said, smiling a little.

"You do?" Ben asked incredulously.

"I know all my children, Ben." God told him, looking indulgent. "Rosie is a very powerful seer with a frighteningly high IQ and an incredibly bright soul. She's very special."

Ben beamed proudly. "She'll change the world."

"Oh, she will. Most definitely." God assured him. "She is meant for great things, Ben."

Ben's eyes softened and he was sincere when he told God, "Thank you for giving the world Rosie Lewis. And for leading me to her."

Dean didn't expect the kid to be religious enough to be thanking God but he was strangely okay with that. It was good to have faith in someone like God. And for God to tell the kid that the girl he loves is so unbelievably awesome she'll change the world? Now that's got to feel amazing.

God smiled gently, nodding. "Support her in any way you can. She'll need you as much as I know you'll need her in the future. And Victoria and Carter." Ben beamed brighter at the mention of his best friends. He and his mom shared a knowing smile. "You four have a long journey ahead of you. The world will need you one day and it will call you to save it. Just like your father."

That seemed to seep all the warmth from the room, rendering them all paralyzed where they stood. God sighed heavily, eyes roaming their faces in concern, while Amara sat beside him quietly, patiently, watching as the mortals begin deciphering her brother's words.

Mary looked at Dean and her eldest son's jaw was locked tighter than a vault. The face her son had on is a variation of Dean's wrathful, protective face; only this looks more lethal and menacing than the one he usually wears whenever Sam or Mary are in danger. She doesn't know what's causing this exactly but she can take another guess. Sam looked just as worried for his big brother as Mary is but he kept his mouth shut, knowing his brother will not appreciate highlighting his reaction.

Lisa and Ben shared a confused look, not following where this is going.

"My father?" Ben frowned, his mood shifting from beaming to guarded curiosity. "What about my father? I thought he was just some deadbeat bicker jerk?"

"No, he's not." Amara said. She sounded almost defensive. Her eyes shifted to Dean. "He's right there."

Ben turned so fast Dean heard the kid's neck crack. Dean's eyes went from Ben to Amara, to Ben again and then settled on God. "What the hell is she talking about?"

If they weren't talking to the being who created the universe, Dean is pretty sure that God may be shifting nervously. "As you know, I went away for a while,"

"A while?" Dean retorted. God gave him a look and he shut up, raising his hands slightly in submission.

"Yes, a while," God agreed, resigned to his confession with an expectant look from Amara. "I just needed to get away. My most beloved son just betrayed me and everything just felt too much so I left. I've already told you the main reason of why I had to leave. I entrusted the care of heaven to Michael and the others, assuming that they'll look after everything while I'm gone. But when I returned eons later, I find demons jumpstarting the apocalypse and the angels have done absolutely nothing to stop it. Encouraged it even! I had to act pretty quick without alerting them I was back. So, I stayed in the shadows, watching, helping where I can to stop it before it can begin. But both heaven and hell were pretty determined to see it through so I just took every precaution I can to preserve the planet and…"

He trailed off, looking somewhat hesitant. Dean sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes, impatient to know what God was getting at. "Oh, come on, Chuck, you're God. Just spit it out. Like a band-aid!"

God huffed but confessed nonetheless. "Ben's your son, Dean."

Dean's face drained of all color. He took a step back and chuckled nervously, shaking his head. "There must be some kind of mistake." Ben shot him a hurt look. Dean turned to Lisa who was at a loss for words. "You said Ben wasn't my son."

"I-I did a test." Lisa stammered, imploring Dean. "It was a positive for Frankie. I swear, Dean, I wouldn't lie to you about this."

"She's telling the truth, Dean." God assured before Dean could say anything else. "I switched the tests."

"You _what_?" Surprisingly, it was Sam who spoke. Every mortal and immortal eyes turned to God who grimaced guiltily. But God held his ground, fully knowing that what he did was for the protection of his children.

God turned to Dean who was breathing too shallow and eyes hardening like steel, the Creator's eyes omniscient and wise beyond anything Dean can comprehend. "I wanted to protect Ben."

"By making everyone believe a _lie_?!" Dean snarled, anger rearing full force.

"Yes." God answered, his voice ringing definitely. Dean gaped at him, floored. When he didn't say anything, God continued. "Angels and demons were equally determined to start the apocalypse, Dean, and they stopped at nothing to get what they wanted. You and Sam know this better than anyone. It was too late for Adam Milligan. I know my children. They're strategic. The angels would've made sure that there will be another vessel on-hand in case there were complications. Complications that you gave to them beautifully, might I add. If there's one thing they needed to learn, it's the concept of Free Will. I've told you about how reliant of me they were and that needed to change. Castiel was the only one who learned that lesson."

Dean scoffed in scorn, his fists beginning to curl in rage. He'd held back his anger towards God before because he respected him for every beautiful and right thing he created. But Dean knew deep inside that he all he saw was his father in God. A man who was willing to sacrifice his children's stability to save other people. A man who was willing to forsake his sons' happiness for vengeance and justice. A man who made his sons into warriors so that they can protect each other only to tell his eldest son in the end that if he cannot save his brother, he had to kill him.

God is not a man, no, but he sure as hell had the likings of one John Winchester.

"You're doing it again, Dean," God sighed, reading his thoughts. "How many times must I tell you I am not your father?"

"No, you're not." Dean sneered. "But every time I talk to you, I see him in you. Saving people, hunting stuff, the family business, right? What happened to us, how we grew up, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the job. All that mattered was the next big bad monster. Dad might've been a good father but he gave Sam and me a crappy life!" Dean retorted, pointing a finger at God. "Just like how you gave the angels a crappy life. Emotionally stunted, over-powered soldiers? Really? And how about you leaving us all to rot in all the evil in this world? Huh? You might've created beautiful stuff, but you've also made _shit_. I would know. I've been to heaven. It was lousy."

"Remember to whom you're speaking to, Dean," God warned gravely.

"I didn't forget a single second." Dean growled right back. God sighed.

There was an exhaustion weighing down God's shoulders but also strength in the willful authority of his eyes. "Dean, I'm sorry that I entrusted you to save the world. It was more than I can ever ask a human soul to endure. Everything you and your brother has been through is more than two human souls could bear but here you two stand, victorious and still so _good_ , and I am _so_ proud of who you have all become." God beamed at the brothers, eyes strangely misty. "I'm sorry that you and Sam never had a chance to live normal lives, that you had to go through so much pain. But this is me telling you that I want you to finally be happy." God's teary beam became a gentle smile. "This is my gift to you."

Sam and his mother were strangely quiet. They both had these peaceful expressions on their faces that exuded their acceptance of whatever God was trying to tell Dean if Dean is only so inclined to _listen_. But he couldn't because if this is what Dean was beginning to believe it was, then, he doesn't think he can take it. He had his second chance. His third. His fourth. His fifth. And every time, he screwed up. He doesn't think he can bear to take another chance. He just began to accept his fate to die as a hunter, killed by some monster, buried in an unknown grave with no one to leave behind but his brother and mother who will probably see the same fate. He can't take another screw up. Not with _them_. Not with the people he loved…

Ben and Lisa were looking at him expectantly as if waiting for something, so hopeful and untainted. Unlike him.

Dean looked at God with hard eyes but inside, something in him just wanted to run. And God seemed to know this because he sighed again as Dean shook his head.

"I can't do this." He choked out and did all he could to keep himself from running out, yanking Lisa's door open and out into the open, night air. There were voices behind him, telling him to stop but he kept running.


	7. And All I Remember Is Your Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was the hardest to write. I don't know if it's even good enough for what I'm imagining but it'll have to do. Ben needs closure as much as Dean needs family, is all I'm saying. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

Ben burst from the door just right behind Dean. "So, that's it?! You're just going to walk away? _Again_?"

Dean rounded on Ben and retorted, "What do you want me to do, huh? That all this, all of your apple pie life, is just somehow going to convince me to drop everything and live happily ever after with you?"

Ben said nothing but he doubted it deterred the kid one bit. He was never one to back down. He'd know, the kid's his—

Dean shook his head and kept walking away.

Ben was right on his ass just then. "Why are you so dead set on being miserable, Dean? This is God telling you to be happy! He's already telling you that you've done so much for the world—hell, for the _universe_ —that you deserve the apple pie life!"

Dean stopped again and turned. "Don't you remember the last time I was around, huh?!" He demanded, trying to get into this kid's thick skull. "Your mom ended up in the hospital! You couldn't even _look_ at me! That was my fault! I got you in danger!"

"And you pulled us out of it! You saved us! _Again_! That's how this works!"

"It was my fault you were in danger in the first place! Don't you see that?!" Dean shouted and turned back around. He resolved to just keep walking, no matter what. There's nothing Ben can say to make him stay because he can't. They'll only get hurt with him around. The best thing for them is for him to let them go.

"DEAN! So, that's it? One of the greatest hunter in the world, God's freaking champion, is going to just run away?"

Dean kept walking. Ben followed him, eyes wide in panic.

" _DEAN_! You can't keep running away from this! From _us_! _DEAN_!"

The bastard just kept going and it was undoing something inside Ben that he was practically begging.

" _DEAN_ —Just stop for one second and _listen_ —"

But he didn't. He was just going to run away again, after everything Ben did to find him.

" _DEAN_ , JUST _STOP_ —"

Why won't he stop? Why won't he _listen_? He needs to stay. Why won't he just _stay_?

"—JUST LISTEN TO ME—DEAN, _NO_!"

Ben just found him, he can't _leave_! Not again! He just got him back! He just got his—

"— _ **DAD**_!"

It stopped Dean from reaching the door handle on the Impala like he'd been frozen by some unknown force. Everything was suddenly quiet, resigned, defeated. He turned around again, slowly this time, to see Ben standing with a desperate look to his eyes, tears streaming down his face, and with one puff of breath, Dean can tell he's given up.

He bit his lower lip hard but Ben couldn't stop the tremor in his voice when he spoke. "I do remember the last time you were around and we were happy." Ben tried his best to swallow the sob that surfaced from his throat but he couldn't. "I remember. We were so freaking happy that all mom and I felt when you were gone was lost. We couldn't even remember you. Do you know what that's like?" There was a hint of anger in his voice now. "To miss someone so bad you felt like you're missing a part of you? This isn't about you putting us in danger. That's bullshit. This is about you thinking you don't deserve the love we have to give."

Suddenly, Ben looked so young and vulnerable. Dean has never seen Ben as fragile as he did then. The kid had always been strong and brave since he'd been a child, even when he was surrounded by monsters. Dean knew it, he saw it. Ben was smart and kind, determined and funny, loving and forgiving, the best of both him and Lisa in a boy too young to be a man and too old to be child, living in a world that's got too many monsters in it.

But hell, did it feel good to know this strong young man was his _son_. A healthy, perfect little boy that's half of the woman he loved. He never knew he longed to hear that word so much that his heart stuttered in his chest when Ben said it and picked up speed so fast he felt like it would fly out of his chest.

 _Dad_. He was a _dad_. And Ben was his _son_.

His son who couldn't look at him. His son who was angry at him. His son who's giving up on him.

"Goodbye, Dean." His son whispered and Dean can hardly breathe.

But Ben was walking away from Dean now, turning with his head hanging in defeat, rejection, and hurt. Before Dean can recover his voice, Ben has already quietly shut the door to his home without looking back to see Dean had wanted to desperately stop him but he just couldn't find his voice in time. Dean just stood there, unsure of what to do, until he felt a trail of a tear rush down his cheek followed by another.

So, he did what he always did. He got into the car, started her up, and drove away into the night.


	8. Restored Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, and Mary find Ben Braeden with his memories intact. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it! The end. I was planning on making this into a series. I've posted this story on my Fanfiction account and will build up the sequels, spin-offs, and prequels if I have the time. I've got a lot of ideas in mind and I hope I get the time to write them. Anyway, hope you enjoy this final chapter. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine.

A few months later, Ben crashed his 69 Chevy Camaro into a tree. He wasn't drunk or anything. It was snowing and he was just trying to avoid the cat on the road and he swerved hard on the ice. He had a broken collarbone and his left arm is shattered in three different places. His face was covered with small cuts from the airbag, too. Thank God it was the winter break or else, it would be such a pain in the ass to have to commute to school every day with a casted arm.

His mom has been going around the house like a headless chicken crossing the road but she didn't bother Ben about anything so he counted his lucky stars and stayed out of the way of whatever she was doing. She was happy and Ben didn't mind the smile on her face one bit, knowing whatever she was up to now is only making her more content. He can only be happy for her, too.

Ben was lounging on the couch trying to start on his winter break readings, when the doorbell rang.

"Ben, can you get that!" His mom yelled from somewhere in the house. Ben inaudibly huffed and hoisted himself up painfully. He opened the door with a mild annoyance on his face only to stare in shock at his father standing on his porch, dusted with snow.

"I, uh," Dean began, clearing his throat. "I heard you were in an accident."

"Yeah," Ben squeaked softly. He cleared his throat, too. "Yeah, I was. It was the ice and there was a cat. And a tree."

Ben wanted to slap his forehead if one wasn't covered in cement and the other holding the doorknob. Damn it all, the man was trying not to laugh.

"Okay." Dean said, chuckling slightly. Ben shifted so that his foot was holding the door open and his free hand scratched his chin in discomfort.

"What are you doing here, Dean?" Ben sighed, guarded. Dean's smile slipped away from his face and he shuffled uneasily, unsure.

"I was just," Dean began but he trailed off. He licked his lips and tried again, looking Ben in the eyes. Ben held his breath, seeing all the emotions swirling in his father's bright green eyes. "I was just thinking that with your cast and all, that you might need some extra hands to fix your car."

Ben stared at him for a few seconds and then said very intelligently, "Uh, what?"

"I mean, you're gonna need your car once school's back, don't you? I was thinking if you've got some extra hands, fixing it will go faster." Dean nearly winced but he stopped himself just in time and opting to gulp nervously instead.

"I don't know. Mom, you know? She might not…"

"Your mom knew I was dropping by." Dean reassured him. "I asked her when she told me about your accident."

Ben huffed in disbelief. "You talked to mom?"

"Yeah," Dean answered, shuffling again. "Been keeping in touch with her for a while."

"How long is a while?" Ben asked suspiciously through narrowed eyes.

"A few weeks? Months? I'm not sure."

"You're 'not sure'?"

"Yeah," More shuffling. "She called to bite my head off and we just got talking about… stuff… and…"

Ben slapped his face with his good hand and ran it down with both aggravation and amusement, wincing when he slightly brushed on his cuts and bruises. "I don't freaking believe this."

"Your mom and I are consenting adults and—"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing." Dean shut his trap after that. Ben narrowed his eyes again and Dean smiled nervously, clearing his throat. He gave Ben another intense look, emotions once again swirling. "I just mean that, I'm here if you'll have me."

There was a hopeful look on his father's eyes and a look of trepidation as well as if Ben was going to slam the door on his face. For a moment, Ben considered it. After all the crap he put them through, he deserved it. But Benjamin Isaac Braeden was his mother's son and when it came to Dean Winchester, no Braeden could ever turn their back on him completely. Besides, Ben's been waiting for this moment his entire life. So, he huffed, trying to hide the mistiness in his eyes as he opened the door wider.

"Yeah, sure." He tried to say casually and went in ahead, hiding the smile spreading on his cheeks. "I think you better stay for dinner, too. Mom's cooking up a real storm in the kitchen. I just thought it's the holiday spirit, you know? There's no way we can eat all that stuff alone. Especially the pie."

"Son, you had me at pie." Dean said appreciatively and Ben froze. He turned to see a look of alarm on Dean's face as if he just stepped on a landmine. Dean looks like he's mentally cursing himself in Latin for whatever he thought he'd done wrong. Ben's smile though, it could have melted ice caps and it made Dean breathe a sigh of relief.

"Well, when has anyone ever forgotten the pie, Dad?"

Dean's watery smile was the last thing Ben saw before he was engulfed in a gentle hug in his father arms. He hugged him tightly with one hand, finally letting all the hurt and anger go. It was awkward but Ben didn't mind. They were all going to be okay.

Dean looked up to see Lisa standing by the doorway and he smiled happily. The smile she returned made Dean's chest feel lighter. It was a smile just for him. He broke away from Ben but kept a hand on his good shoulder. Lisa walked over to her boys and they all clung to each other, feeling content and complete.

"It's good to be home." Dean whispered.


End file.
